Hope for Rejected Grandparents

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Photo courtesy of Julie Johnson on Unsplash

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him” (1 John 5:14-15).

As grandparents, our access to grandchildren is dependent upon the relationships we have with our adult children. It can be a challenge to maintain that perspective when we do not agree with their decisions. Sometimes parents oppose a relationship between grandparents and grandchildren. They may even be separated by physical distance.

As disheartening as these situations may be, they are not a reason to lose hope. Rather, they are opportunities to trust God for the outcome while continuing to pray for His guidance in the way we react to our circumstances.

One widow was disheartened when her son and daughter-in-law moved out of state, taking her two grandchildren with them. Opposing this grandmother’s faith, the father severed all contact between her and his children. After weeks of prayer and fasting, the grandmother began sending gifts and cards filled with words of hope to her grandchildren. At their insistence the father relented, allowing visits between his children and their beloved grandmother to resume.

A divorced man found himself left out of his daughter’s family celebrations. After coming to faith in Christ, he admitted his hot temper and accusing words contributed to the distance between him and the people he loved. With a contrite heart, he humbly reached out to his daughter, asking her to forgive his past sins. She was hesitant at first. But after he consistently and respectfully persevered, the daughter opened her home, and eventually her heart to him. He now has a thriving relationship with his daughter and grandchildren.

These two grandparents chose to trust in God when there was no evidence or human reason to believe their damaged family relationships would be restored. Rather than give up, they persisted, they prayed, and they pursued the goal of restoration. In doing so, they cast their anxieties to the Lord and trusted Him for the results.

To anyone who is facing this dilemma I say, “Don’t give up.” With utmost humility, ask God to pave the way for you to have a godly influence on the lives of your grandchildren. Be patient. God already know what you need and what your grandchildren need. And remember to give God all the glory for the way He answers your request.

Share your stories of hope at barbhowe.org.

Prepare for Battle

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Photo by Samule Zeller on Unsplash

If Satan wants anything, he wants to prevent the spread of Christ’s message for salvation. When a grandparent decides to share their faith with a grandchild, it’s a sure bet the enemy will send some flaming arrows to block the communication. This is often referred to as spiritual warfare.

The weapons Satan launches might be directed against you and your family members, or they might show up as unexpected distractions. Just know the more fervently you work to honor God with your legacy, the more resistance you will face. Don’t give in. Let God take care of the details. If you’ve studied the Bible, you already know the victory belongs to Him.

You also know the opposition can get fierce. Let’s face it, if your testimony of faith were not powerful, Satan would not have any interest in trying to stop it’s spread. For this reason, consider the fact that you are facing opposition to be a testament to the glory of God. Get your battle plan in order.

“Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
Put on the full armor of God,
so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood,
but against the rulers, against the authorities,
against the powers of this dark world
and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Therefore put on the full armor of God,
so that when the day of evil comes,
you may be able to stand your ground,
and after you have done everything, to stand.
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist,
with the breastplate of righteousness in place,
and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith,
with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” (Ephesians 6: 10-17 NIV).

I sometimes find songs are helpful to keep my mind cleared from spiritual distractions. The Battle Belongs to the Lord, by Petra is one such song. Give it a listen. 

Are you facing a spiritual battle? Share your thoughts at: SpiritualLegacyMemoir.com.

Staying in Step

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Photo by Ceci Bravo on Unsplash

Step-grandparents are the real deal. That day when I became one years ago is clearly etched in my memory. My husband and I were returning home from an out-of-town event when my phone buzzed to life with the eagerly anticipated news: our grandson had arrived. It was a highly emotional moment.

Getting to know a child from birth is an entirely different experience than marrying a single father who already has a son. Painful losses happen in kids’ lives when their families split. Without question, stepparents play a pivotal role in family dynamics. It takes time and patience to build a relationship, and that includes relationships we have with children. I would probably be a better step-mom if a “do over” were possible. But now, I focus on doing my best as the parent of an adult.

That said, being a grandparent is one of many blessings that resulted from sticking with it through thick and thin. My grandson doesn’t care that we’re not genetically linked. He only cares that I am a safe, loving grandmother. That probably explains why our guest bedroom has morphed into his second bedroom. It’s all part of staying in step.

Send your thoughts about step-grandparents to: SpiritualLegacyMemoir.com

A Lesson From the Squirrels

photo-8The squirrels are at it again. They’re on the neighbor’s bush munching away at the few remaining seed pods. Thing is, this untrimmed bush only has a few spindly branches with most of the seeds dangling 20 feet off the ground. The branches are so thin they bow and sway under the weight of the squirrels when they scamper up to reach the seeds.

But there the squirrels sit, eating lunch with their hind feet and tails tightly wrapped around a skinny branch, balancing against occasional bursts of wind like seasoned acrobats. Squirrels have a reputation for getting what they want regardless of obstacles. These squirrels have their seeds, and they have a valuable lesson to share. It’s called persistence.

If something is important, I mean really important, you must be willing to work for it. That’s true of education and career choices, and it’s especially true about what we do for our families. Congratulations to everyone who has traded personal convenience to provide children with food, clothing, shelter, health care, swimming lessons, music lessons, and on and on. But, there is another far more important investment to be made for children. It is an investment in their spiritual well being. How are you sharing your faith values with them?

Kids need to know how faith in Christ applies to them. One of the most engaging ways to disciple children about God is to talk about Him through their lives. Use their accomplishments, failures, and frustrations to share what you have learned about joy, sorrow, and dependence on God. Write little messages, telling them how God has answered your prayers on their behalf, how you are now praying for their future.

It only takes a few minutes to jot down your thoughts, a minute more to find life-giving words in the Bible to support them. Sharing your faith with younger generations is more than a good idea, it’s a directive from God. Be persistent. Give children food that lasts an eternity.

“One generation shall commend your [God’s] works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.” – Psalm 145:4