Writing About Grandchildren – Inspiration #5 of 5

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Photo courtesy of J Korpa on Unsplash

Dreams comprise the fifth and final category of my inspiration series. I suspect this is the most underutilized source of writing inspiration that people draw upon. Don’t ignore dreams. They can be a potent wellspring of insights.

During the day, our thoughts are barraged with information and choices. But while our bodies rest, our minds go to work. Decision filters shut down when the day is done and leave the door open for the night crew. Think of dreams as your mind on brainstorm mode, offering endlessly creative ideas without interruption. 

Those periods of transition between consciousness and unconsciousness, when our minds still hang in the balance, can uncover emotional treasuresDreams help us sort through things that matter to us. 

Here’s an example from a memoir:

I awoke this morning from a frightfully vivid nightmare. You have formed the habit of running toward the street whenever we were outside. I stopped you every time. Still, the fear remained that a day might come when my reaction time would be too slow to prevent you from being harmed. Through the haze of awakening, I dreamed I was chasing you down our driveway, grabbing you from the path of a speeding car, and pushing you to the side as the car’s front fender closed in. I was immediately reminded of how precious you are to me.

The message is clear. It also shows that not everything you write in your memoir needs to be an actual event. This example shows the emotional relationship with a child in the context of a pending traffic accident that, thankfully, did not happen. 

Happily, dreams may also uncover our tenderest feelings about such experiences as the moment we first see our grandchild. Make the most out of yours. Use those waking moments to note your dreams and convey your love to your grandchild.

Share your ideas at barbhowe.com.

Click below to read other inspirations.

Inspiration #1

Inspiration #2

Inspiration #3

Inspiration #4

Writing About Grandchildren – Inspiration #3 of 5

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Photo courtest of Simon Matzinger on Unsplash

You have probably experienced times with a grandchild that spark your own reminiscing. These instances happens throughout the year, with or without prompting. Long forgotten memories do pop up when we least expect them. They are not restricted to time or season. 

There is no law saying you can’t share stories from your past. They are always relevant. Your stories of reminiscing give children a glimpse into the reality that human nature stays the same despite all the technological advances that are being made.

In the same way that milestones and special occasions spark ideas, reminiscing can be fun. I think of it as conducting an archaeological dig into the past to talk with grandchildren about memories being made today. Here is an excerpt from a letter written to a grandchild in the days leading up to Christmas:

I remember when you were barely old enough to help decorate our home for Christmas. Setting up our Christmas tree that year prompted one of my childhood memories.

When I was 10-years-old, my Dad lost his job due to a workforce reduction, This was at a time before artificial Christmas trees were common. Our family budget was severely limited while he searched for a new place to work.

During the weeks leading up to Christmas, I heard my parents talk about the price of Christmas trees and how they might be able to work it into the budget. I began to wonder if we were going to have a Christmas tree that year. Now, to be honest, I cannot recall any year during my childhood when we did not have one, but I also cannot remember most of those trees.

This tree was different. I clearly remember when…

Imagine the different directions a memory like this might travel. Your stories could prompt your grandchildren to consider how today’s ordinary activities will look different in their later years. They will certainly revisit the time you shared with them. Perhaps the most important element of your reminiscing is giving them a reason for hope when they struggle through the inevitable challenges of life.

So, let your remembrances flow onto paper. Allow your grandchildren to see how people work through their difficulties. Use your words to share a message of hope and faith in our loving Lord.

Shortly after Christmas, the dad in the story found a new job. The entire family emerged stronger in their bonds, and stronger in their faith. Use your life stories as a way to strengthen the faith of your grandchildren. The rewards are eternal.

Share your remembrances at barbhowe.com.

Writing About Grandchildren – Inspiration #2 of 5

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Photo courtesy of 85fifteen on Unsplash

Special occasions are naturals for inspiration with built-in excitement and action. And they often involve memorable traditions or celebrations: Christmas, Easter, birthdays, and so on. Celebrations are like recurring distance markers on your road map that show how much ground has been covered.

I like to jot down specific details at the time they occur. They come in handy when I’m ready to write and want to include all the important stuff. Sometimes the little things that we might not consider valuable at the time provide family, cultural, and historical information for future generations. Include them. I’ve had many conversations with my siblings about our family, as well as items that were common to the era. They add a lot of interest.

Here’s a snippet from my grandson’s fifth birthday celebration. It makes me laugh every time I read it.

This was the most fun I’ve had on a birthday for as long as I can remember. I’ve learned by experience that anticipation is part of the fun. You chose the balloons for your party and went with me to pick up your Spiderman cake from the neighborhood Cub grocery store. You were so excited, you almost dropped the cake into our grocery cart. We took lots of photos during the party; my favorite is one of you getting ready to stuff a big ol’ hot dog into your mouth.

Will the children born 50 years from now relate to Spiderman, or play dates? Maybe not. These everyday items could become today’s version of dial phones and Dick Tracy secret code watches of yesteryear. Elements like this add a touch of nostalgia to a story, and that never seems to go out of style.

Of course, you don’t need to include everything from your notebook. Keeping the story focused is part of the territory. My notebook is still a source of chuckles, tears, and reminders of my many blessings. I hope you benefit these ideas.

Watch for three more sources of inspiration coming in future posts and on my website at SpiritualLegacyMemoir.com.

Let me know if this is helpful at barbhowe.org.

Writing About Grandchildren – Inspiration #1 of 5

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Photo courtesy of Helloquence on Unsplash

Inspiration for writing about grandchildren comes from a variety of sources. As I began working on my grandson’s memoir, the most unexpected sources of inspiration prompted the most interesting stories.

It began with a journal of our time together when he was a newborn. What a blessing that was! Now, if you imagine my journal is some sort of beautifully bound book with lined pages headed by inspiring quotes, you are partially correct: it does have lined pages. This journal is a spiral-bound promotional giveaway with a business tagline emblazoned across the cover. It was the handiest way for me to record notes at the time.

I now use Microsoft Word software as a writing tool, but still rely on handwritten notes to capture details that happen when I am nowhere near a computer. Use what works best for you. The method you choose to keep notes is less important that the discipline of keeping them.

Now, about that inspiration. My stories came from five different categories of inspiration, the first of which is milestones. I consider milestones to be significant changes in physical or cognitive development, the kinds of events that often bring smiles to our faces or tears to our eyes. Children love stories about themselves.

Here’s an example of a milestone story:

One of the first routines we started with you was reading. We did that because early childhood development experts reported kids were more likely to succeed in school if someone read to them right from the get-go. I followed this advice from the time you were able to be tucked snugly by my side as I read.

Think about it. This is when you were honing your skills at holding up your head, rolling over from your back to your tummy, and discovering your fingers and toes. One afternoon, I caught you and grandpa reading a Christmas book. You were sporting a pacifier and a very attentive countenance. Suffice to say, you both appeared to be enjoying the time together.

Do you see the milestones? “Discovering your fingers and toes” and “rolling over” are two insights pulled from my journal. Notice the phrase,“you both appeared to be enjoying the time together.” That observation might have been lost without a quick note of reminder. If you’re an audio type, make a recording instead. Then, use them when you are ready to write. You will be glad you did.

Four additional sources of inspiration will be shared in future posts and will be available on my website at SpiritualLegacyMemoir.com.

Let me know if this is helpful. Share your thoughts at barbhowe.org.

Grandparenting at the Speed of Age

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Photo courtesy of Andre Benz on Unsplash

Time is experienced differently by children and adults. Have you ever found yourself thinking, “Didn’t we just celebrate” (a birthday, Christmas, or the start of summer) a few days ago?” From a child’s perspective, the time between annual events must seem endless. To me, not so much. The difference seems to stem from the ratio of years to age.

A one-year cycle represents something like 12 percent of an 8-year-old’s life, a far smaller percentage for those in my age range. I thought about this the day after my grandson celebrated a special event, when he suggested what he wanted to do the next time around, as if he might forget before it happened. Do your grandkids do this stuff?

From an eternal perspective, we are all speeding through time. The difference is that youth views life as a long road with an eventual end; oldsters reflect on the long journey traveled while pondering our ultimate destination. An abstract conclusion ages into an imminent reality. Having experienced this transition, I now view each new year as a possibility, eternity as a certainty.

Nobody can accurately count our remaining days on earth. That could be why some of us live as if today may be our last. One of our duties  as grandparents is to prepare future generations for eternity, and to do so in a manner that balances the delights of this life with the unimaginable joy of meeting our Savior face to face.

We are not responsible for bringing our grandchildren to faith in Christ. That’s the job of the Holy Spirit. Our duty is to present the Word of God to younger generations and encourage them by example. It means obeying the command given to us in Deuteronomy 4:9: “Be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”

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An Opportunity for Grandparents

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Photo courtest of Sarah Noltner on Unsplash

On March 9, 2019, New Hope Church in New Hope, MN is hosting a conference where Grandparenting is the subject and Dr. Josh Mulvihill is the speaker.

Conferences like this are designed to set aside time for anyone (from soon-to-be grandparents to those who have older grandchildren) to develop new friendships while exploring our role as faith leaders in our families.

About the Speaker

Dr. Mulvihill is the Executive Director of Church and Family Ministry at Renewanation, and is a founding member of the Legacy Coalition. He holds a PhD from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and has been a pastor for nearly 20 years. In addition, Dr. Mulvihill has authored and edited numerous books including: Biblical Grandparenting, Equipping Grandparents, Preparing Children for Marriage, Roots Kids Worship and Rooted Kids Curriculum.

Conference Topics:

  • Why Grandparenting Matters
  • Recognizing the Cultural Messages About Grandparenting
  • Understanding the Biblical Role of Grandparents
  • Discipling Grandchildren: 4 Biblical Methods Every Grandparent Can Do
  • Discipling Grandchildren: 4 More Biblical Methods Every Grandparent Can Do

Learn more about Dr. Josh Mulvihill at GospelShapedFamily.com

Learn more about The Legacy Coalition.

Conference Link and Registration

And, don’t forget to visit my website at barbhowe.org.

Make a Note!

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Photo courtesy of Alvaro Serrano on Unsplash

recent occasion of closet cleaning reminded me how much value written words hold for us. Inside a long-forgotten box on a top shelf in the closet I found a stack of letters written to me by my mother, who passed away nearly 40 years ago. I began reading.

Most of the letters contained family news. Near the middle of the stack, I found a little card with a personal message in my mother’s handwriting, expressing her love for me. What a treasure!

She did not use a lot of words, but the ones she did use touched my heart – again. I won’t repeat them here; they’re private. What I will share is encouragement and a little guidance for you to put your words of love on paper for a special someone.

Read below, and insert (selected words or phrases) from the lists that express your thoughts and feelings. Feel free to combine thoughts or insert your own words in place of the ones listed.

Dear (Name),

On the day
(you were born),
(your adoption was finalized),
(I became your stepparent),
(you became my grandchild),
(I became your grandparent),
my life changed forever.

I felt
(overwhelmed),
(more emotions than I could count),
(a loss of words),
(blessed beyond measure),
(tears of joy running down my cheeks).

The first time
(I held you in my arms),
(you looked into my eyes),
(our hands touched),
I knew
(you were a blessing from God),
(I would always love you).

I hope you will always remember
(you are one of a kind), 
(you are wonderfully made), 
(I will always love you).

Love,

(Your Name)

Here’s an example of how your message might look when you write it out:

Dear Emma,

On the day I became your grandparent, my life changed forever. I felt blessed beyond measure. The first time I held you in my arms I knew you were a blessing from God. I hope you will always remember you are wonderfully made. I will always love you.

Love,

(Your Name)

These few sentences are short enough to fit into a greeting card or one one sheet of writing paper. Yet the message they carry is enough to fill a book. And it only takes a little time to leave a big impact in someone’s day, even 40 years later. Try it!

Send your thoughts to barbhowe.org.

Thank You, Grandfather

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Photo courtesy of Rehan Syed of Unsplash

Most of my grandparents passed away before I was born. One was my maternal grandfather who emigrated to the United States through Ellis Island. Most of what I know about him came by way of oral storytelling passed down from generation to generation.

Some said he held a position similar to “town mayor” but gave it up when socialism was gaining a foothold in Eastern Europe. He reportedly envisioned conditions deteriorating during the early 20th Century. So he left his wife and their beautiful farmland to forge a new future in America.

As a non-English speaker, he worked as a laborer to earn enough money for my grandmother and their young family to join him. This grandfather died young, about one year after safely relocating his family to America. I am a United States citizen because of his selfless sacrifice. How I wish I knew more about him!

Have you ever wondered what future generations will remember about you? Memories fade and details become clouded with age. It’s the old “I’ll never forget” thing, until recollections grow dim. That happened with remembrances about my grandfather. I determined not to let it happen with my life.

In just a few hours each week, I compiled childhood stories to share with my extended family. Those stories turned into a small book that I distributed to them as gifts. It turned out to be easier and more fun that expected. A number of my relatives have thanked me for the effort.

Now it’s your turn. Set aside a few hours each week; mark it in your calendar. Start a Word or Google doc, or hand write your ideas into a journal. Before long, you’ll have a living history to pass along to your children’s children.

And let me know how it goes at: barbhowe.org.

A Gift That Can Only Come From You

rawpixel-191157-unsplashThe closer it gets to Christmas, the more I see FedEx trucks racing through my neighborhood. It almost makes me laugh to think how Santa’s annual run has been affected by the dawn of online shopping. Admittedly, I contributed a small measure to the congestion. Like my neighbors, I want to give gifts that family members want most, especially the children. But what do they really want?

I am blessed to spend time with my grandson. (Hint: technology makes this possible for grandparents who do not live near their grandchildren.) I’ve noticed something interesting that happens when our conversations are about him: he stops whatever he is doing and quiets down to listen intently. 

I believe children “need” to know they are loved by their grandparents. Some of the greatest gifts we can offer are words of encouragement and words of faith to guide them in life. Why not write a thoughtful note or letter as a permanent reminder of your love? 

Try this out. Choose a Bible verse that speaks of family generations. For example:  “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3)

When you read this passage, what thoughts come to mind about your grandchild? Do you think about anticipating his/her birth? Are you reminded of the first time you saw this grandchild? What images come to mind about this child’s unique qualities? Your words have the power to give your grandchild encouragement and a never-ending reminder of your love.

Now, write a brief note or letter beginning with the following sentence:

I know God blessed me when you were born because…”

How will you package your gift? Here are some ideas. Write your message on a beautiful piece of stationery and put it in a frame. Wrap your special gift in a box and present it to your grandchild personally. Or, record a video of yourself reading the message and send it to your grandchild. Sharing your godly love for a grandchild is one gift that can only come from you.

Share your thoughts at barbhowe.org.

Strengthen Your Family With Faith

Grand Parenting

The book, Grand Parenting, by Dr. Josh Mulvihill is a must read for all Christian grandparents. It is packed with content that directly addresses four aspects of life vital to every family: cultural messages about the role of grandparents, God’s purpose and design for families, discipleship practices for grandparents, and practical steps to strengthen family relationships.

Drawing on verses found throughout Scripture, Grand Parenting contrasts misguided worldly messages with the eternal Truths presented in the Bible. Mulvihill reminds grandparents why their influence matters to the spiritual lives of their grandchildren, and why it is second only to that of parents. He examines different aspects of intentionally teaching grandchildren about Jesus as well as the importance of modeling a life of faith.

Grand Parenting is a resource to keep on your bookshelf, a reference you will want to pick up and review time and again. In addition to the information presented in this book, Mulvihill includes innumerable other discipleship materials available in the marketplace. Among them is a grandparenting video series with questions to use individually or as part of a group study. For more information about resources, visit legacycoalition.com.

Share your ideas at barbhowe.org.